The Five Pillars of Health – MENTAL

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

2 Corinthians 10:5

The last area that we will discuss in our ” 5 Pillars of Health” series is mental health. This can be a heavy topic so I will forewarn you now as you begin to read, that this post contains personal experience and generalized help options, but if you or someone you know is struggling with severe depression or other issues, please encourage them to get professional care and support.

The stigma that once surrounded the topic of mental health is finally starting to lift, and for that I am grateful. Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the US and in 2021 there were an estimated 1.7 million suicide attempts in the US alone. People are hurting and depression is a serious, chronic issue. It is my hope that this post will give you valuable information and encourage you to get the support you need, or empower you to help someone you know who is struggling.

Types of depression

There are two main types of depression: situational and clinical, and then of course there are multiple subsets within each of those as well. But I think it’s important to recognize that depression can be situational and temporary, or long term and chronic. Situational depression can occur due to situational life struggles such as the loss of a loved one, an isolated tragic experience, various forms of abuse, a divorce, or any other intensely stressful life circumstance. Situational depression is common and a person experiencing it could benefit from connecting with a counselor and getting support from friends and loved ones. While situational depression usually subsides as an individual processes their pain and moves through it, clinical depression is something a little more extensive. With clinical depression, often times a person feels sad, angry, irritable, hopeless or lost, for no apparent reason. This type of depression usually lasts years or decades and without help, can often lead to self harm or suicide.

My Experience

Unfortunately, mental health issues can run in a person’s genetics. There are a lot of mental health struggles in my family and although depression wasn’t something I ever struggled with in childhood or adolescence, I had a severe bout of depression in my post pardum years. After the birth of my daughter, I had a really hard couple of years. We were a young family, I had two kids under two, and we had a lot of big life changes going on. Due to all the big things going on in my life, I assumed my stress, anxiety and irritability were normal. But as time went on, my mental health wasn’t getting better, in fact it was getting worse. Eventually, I realized I needed some help. I was angry and irritable all of the time. I felt hopeless, alone, disconnected from God and others, and I hated myself. At the peak of my depression I had myself pretty convinced that my family would be better off without me. I became suicidal and began the planning stages. It was a scary time.

Depression is a liar

One thing I will say from my experience is this: depression is a liar. Depression berates you all day with lies such as “you’re a horrible person” and “no one loves/likes you” and “your family would be better off without you, look at how miserable you are”. I truly believe that depression is one of Satan’s favorite playgrounds. The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy and depression is definitely something he capitalizes on.

It’s okay to not be okay

One thing to remember in your struggles, is that it really is okay, to not be okay. As women: mothers, friends, daughters, and wives, we often feel like we need to have it all together. There is a pressure to be perfect and “do it all.” But the truth is, we are human. And we all struggle with messy things from time to time. Learning to have grace with yourself and “struggling well” is something we all need to practice.

When to get help

It can be hard to know when it’s time to get help. I spent a long time down-playing my struggle and thinking I was fine, or thinking that I just needed a day off or better self-care. But the truth is, especially with clinical depression, these surface-level solutions don’t fix anything long term. The longer a person goes without help, the more intense the depression and anxiety can become. One thing that made it hard for me to know I needed help, was that my depression didn’t present itself like I thought it would. I wasn’t sad and crying all the time. My experience with depression looked more like anger, irritability and anxiety. I couldn’t explain why, but I just hated my life, all of the time. I was in a constant state of “fight or flight” and my stress levels were through the roof. Unfortunately for me, this feeling never really let up. That type of long term intensity makes depression so incredibly unbearable.

With that being said, here are a few warning signs to look for, when you’re trying to determine if it’s time to get some outside help:

• The amount “bad days” outweigh the good ones
• Thoughts are consistently negative
• You find yourself withdrawing from family, friends and community
• Feelings of hopelessness, sadness, frustration become more consistent
• Chronic fatigue, lethargy, or troubles sleeping
• Trouble making decisions
• Apathy towards things you used to care about
• Thoughts about self harm or suicide

Help is available

There are a number of ways to get help and everyone’s journey looks a little different. Help can come in the form of doctors, medications, counseling, taking vitamins, exercising, prayer, self-care, and connecting with community. The truth is, we need to take mental illness as seriously as we take any other type of sickness. If you had a tumor growing out of your leg, you wouldn’t say to yourself, “Oh I just need to take a nap and go get my nails done, and it’ll go away.” Mental health is just as important as physical health, and we need to care for our minds with just as much intention and support as we would our bodies. Getting help with mental health is often a combination of a lot of types of support and the first step is talking to a counselor and making a care plan.

In my journey, I had some hormone testing done, and then I started taking high quality vitamins and supplements. I also received the support of my family and friends, and I got into some really good counseling. Once I began my care plan, it took about 6 weeks to start to feel relief. Slowly but surely, my depression began to subside.

One of the most important things to remember in the midst of your depression, is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE and YOU ARE LOVED. I know from personal experience that those things are very hard to believe or experience on hard days. That’s why surrounding yourself with community, being real with our friends and family about our struggles, and getting into counseling are foundational steps in healing.

God sees you

As a Christian, one of the hardest parts of depression, is that it literally feels as if the part of our brains that connects to God and hears His voice, is entirely shut down. I was not able to absorb the positive in any way or feel or grasp the love of God during that time. So this is where I had to preach truth to myself over and over. It was the washing of the Word over heart and mind that probably saved my life. Playing worship music in my home, journaling, crying out to God and being real and raw with the Lord about my struggles was huge. Although I rarely felt anything in my prayer and worship during those years, it was a good lesson for my soul to know: I don’t have to feel something in order for it to be true. God’s Word is true not because I feel it, it’s true because it’s God’s Word. It was during this time in my life that I had to really put into practice verses like 2 Corinthians 10:5 “…take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” And other verses like 1 Peter 2:9 “You are a chosen… You are God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” which reminded me of my worth and identity in Christ.

And I will say that none of these things on their own were enough for me to experience healing. It was the combination of all of them. I am strongly against any type of religious judgements that would tell a person struggling with depression that all they need to do is pray more or have more faith. The truth is, we live in a broken world, and while God certainly can heal in a miraculous way and we have faith in His power to do so, sometimes people need help in other ways too. All glory goes to God who is able to direct our steps and bring about healing however He will.

My final encouragement to you is this: if you are struggling with depression or other mental health issues, please reach out to someone who you can trust. I know that it’s hard when you’re IN it to have any motivation to facilitate your own care. But you don’t have to do it alone. Find someone to share your struggles with and let them come alongside you, to get you the help you need. And if you don’t personally struggle, but you know someone who does: remember that you don’t have to have all the answers. Sometimes the “ministry of presence” is the most impactful thing you can give someone. And hopefully this blog post gave you some ideas on how to connect your loved one with some help and support.

DISCLAIMER: If you or someone you know is in need of immediate help, call or text 988 any time and someone will be there to talk to, day or night. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (formerly known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, across the United States. The Lifeline is comprised of a national network of over 200 local crisis centers, combining custom local care and resources with national standards and best practices.” Call or text 988 any time of day and there will be someone there to talk to you and get you the help you need.