Motherhood: Intentional Living

What is the most common thing that you hear the women around you complain about? If I had to guess, I would probably say chores like cooking, cleaning, and laundry would be the most common answers. These are things that can seem mundane. The work of a wife and mother is never finished: there will always be dishes to wash, another meal to cook, and something that needs to be cleaned. It can be exhausting and frustrating, and most women just don’t enjoy it. I truly believe that God has such unique roles for us as women. The Bible makes it very clear that God designed women to be special and fill a specific need in the world. He calls us not just to do these things, but to do them JOYFULLY.

“…and works willingly with her hands.”

Proverbs 31:13

For first few years that my husband and I were married, I dreaded having to figure out what to make for dinner every night, and I found myself constantly frustrated with the messes that seemed to keep appearing no matter how much I cleaned. Over the last year, the Holy Spirit has done a lot of work on me in this area. I have worked hard to understand God’s call for us, as mothers, to be homemakers, and I have learned to appreciate and enjoy this role. It isn’t always easy, and sometimes it takes extra effort, but it is possible to actually enjoy the mundane parts of motherhood. Enjoying homemaking requires intentionality, but once you are able to see the fruits of your labor, it can become such a joyful experience.

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house…”

Psalm 128:3

There are a few small changes that I started with that I think made a huge impact in our family. First, I started reading Proverbs 31 often. If this is what God was calling me to be, I wanted to know it well and understand it fully. The more time that I spent reading it, the more passionate I became about caring for my household. God paints the perfect picture to guide us as we care for our homes. His ways are perfect, and His Word brings us purpose, promise and instruction. Let’s read Proverbs 31:

The Woman Who Fears the Lord

Proverbs 31:10-31

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

As I meditated on these verses, the heart posture I had towards my home and my responsibilities began to change. I started making it a non-negotiable to tidy up the house every night before bed. I made sure the toys are put away, the kitchen is cleaned up, and any random messes are cleaned. As a working mom, sometimes this one is really hard. At the end of a long day, the thing we want most is to collapse into bed, right? However, I noticed a huge shift in the quality of sleep I was getting and in my mood the next day when I knew that I was going to bed and waking up in a clean house. I no longer had to dread waking up to a mess to clean.

I’ve also made it a rule that on the days that we are home, we don’t turn the TV on until after lunch. Proverbs 31:27 says “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” We are all much happier when we just enjoy being together in the mornings. We will usually put on worship music, and the kids play while I prepare food or fold laundry. Being active instead of sitting on the couch is so much more fulfilling and sets a better tone for our day.

Speaking of laundry, folding it used to be my least favorite chore. It was one thing that I always procrastinated because it takes SO long, and then the clothes just get worn again within a few days. So, I started using this time to seek Jesus. As I fold the clothes for each person in my house, I pray specifically for that person. It has become a special time that I dedicate to praying intentionally for the needs of each member of my family, and it has made such an incredible difference.

I think that the favorite adjustment that I’ve made has been spending more time in the kitchen. I’ve started cooking the majority of our food from scratch, and it has made a noticeable impact . We all feel so much better physically, and it’s so rewarding to make food that I know is good for us and therefore honoring God by caring for our bodies. Our toddler loves to be in the kitchen, too so it has become a special time for the two of us to bond and for him to learn life skills as he helps me prepare meals for our family.

All of these have been small shifts made over the last year that have all compounded to a much more joyful home. As I have learned to love working in my home, my family has been able to find a new appreciation for being at home.

Make your home a place for peace and a place where you can spend time with your family and praise God together. Above all, the goal of homemaking is to glorify God and answer His call.

“Homemaking is surely in reality the most important work in the world. What do ships, railways, mines, cars, government, etc. exist for except that people may be fed, warmed, and safe in their own homes? The homemaker’s job is one for which all others exist.”

C.S. Lewis