The Four Types of Love – Agape

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.

1 John 3:16

I remember the first time I truly grasped the waywardness of my heart, and the reality that I didn’t deserve God’s redeeming love. Growing up in a Christian home, I was taught about Christ, attended church, and chose to follow Jesus at a young age. I never doubted His existence or the message of the gospel, and I desired to follow Him all my life. However, when I went away to college, despite my intentions to pursue Christ above all, and despite my outward displays of involvement in campus ministry and church attendance, I gradually made poor choices and compromises. These moral compromises became more frequent and comfortable, and they carved a new path for me; a path that grew worn and easy to walk. By the end of my second year, I had become a hypocrite and hid my secret sins. This path had become a rut: I was miserable but refused to face it. It was only when I sat alone on a plane, ironically on the way to a missions trip, where I was supposed to share Jesus with others, that I realized I had no place there. The depths of my hypocrisy hit me, and I was convicted of my sin. Graciously, God took my hand, and on that trip showed me the way to repentance and restoration. Although I regret many of the choices I made up to this point, God had weaved my story of failure into a much deeper understanding of His grace. I was able to grasp in a new way, His incredible love for us, an underserving love: agape love.

Agape Love Defined

Agape love is pure, perfect and divine. It is selfless, sacrificial and intentional. It is a gift; a choice without obligation. 1 John 4:8 and 4:16 tell us that God is love. Agape love is grounded in the character of God himself.

In explaining this type of initiating and giving love, C.S. Lewis points out that God loves without need. He explains that this love was shown first in creation and then in redemption. He says:

The doctrine that God was under no necessity to create is not a bit of useless and abstract scholasticism. It is essential, for it reveals the nature of Agape: that which in itself is complete, self-sufficient, eternally blessed, which has no wants to satisfy, creates what it doesn’t need, creates because, being Love, it desires to give, and gives seeing in the very moment of creation the necessity for the crucifixion

C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves Radio Broadcasts, 1958

What an incredible observation: God didn’t need to create us, yet He lovingly chose to. And at creation, when God gave us life, He also knew we would reject him and would ultimately need to be redeemed. This redemption would cost God His own Son. This is agape love, it is selfless and not dependent on the actions of its recipient.

Agape Love Portrayed

We see this agape love permeate the pages of Scripture: from Genesis to Revelation. God relentlessly pursues His people and in turn, all mankind, despite their disobedience, idolatry, and rejection of Him. Jesus’ ministry was marked by agape love in His pursuit of people, especially those on the outside: the poor, the sick, the morally questionable, the political and ethnic rivals. He gave love abundantly without considering the cost or what could be received in return.

We see a striking example of this agape love in the story of Peter’s denial of Christ. The evening of Jesus’ arrest, sitting with his disciples at the Last Supper, Jesus warns Peter that he will fall away and deny Christ. Peter responds with a strong confidence in his own loyalty:

But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.”

Matthew 26:35a

Yet just hours later, those words of fleshy bravado would fall empty.

We first see the agape love of Jesus in the prediction of Peter’s denial. We find that Jesus had already taken action before Peter is even told of his impending failure. Jesus tells Peter:

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

Luke 22:31-32

Jesus had proactively prayed for Peter, not that he would be immune from testing, Jesus foresaw this, and the outcome. But knowing that Peter will face his own brokenness, He prayed that his faith would not be shattered, that there would be repentance and restoration. Knowing full well Peter would betray Jesus, agape love drove a gracious prayer for Peter’s future.

And so, the scene plays out. Despite following Jesus after He is arrested, and waiting outside the place of Jesus’ questioning, Peter’s loyalty fails. As he waited among a crowd of servants and officials, he was recognized by the crowd. Turn by turn Peter is asked three times, by three different people, if he knew Jesus. Each time, Peter denies Christ. Then the rooster crows, just as Jesus predicted. At that very moment, as if to emphasize the cruelty of this denial, Luke 22:61a says “Then the Lord turned and looked to Peter”. Jesus was right there, in eye sight of Peter; He knew of the betrayal in real time. In that moment, Peter remembered Jesus’ words and felt the weight of his own failure. Then he went outside and wept bitterly. The pain was palatable, his self-confidence was shattered. Peter was faced with the fragility of his devotion and reality of his own brokenness. BUT we see Jesus in the midst of this: we remember He prayed for Peter with agape love.

After Jesus’ death and resurrection, there was a beautiful encounter between Peter and a resurrected Jesus during a breakfast on the beach. Jesus asked Peter if he loves Jesus, and Peter tells him that he does. As if mirroring Peter’s denial, Jesus does this three times, each time Peter affirms his love for Jesus. And perhaps through this repetition, Jesus exhibits that Peter’s past sin has been covered, he has been redeemed and restored. It was a symbolic conversation, initiated by Jesus’ agape love.

This story of Peter’s denial, is the story of us all. It’s a repeated story throughout the pages of Scripture. From the Garden of Eden to the forgetfulness and wayward hearts of the people of Israel. It’s the frailty in mankind that was known from the creation of the world. Yet Peter’s story of redemption and restoration is a reality that is also available to us.

Agape Love In Action

So, what is our response? We can marvel at this incredible gift; our worship can be fueled with thanksgiving. The fresh understanding of God’s lavish agape love is necessary and wonderful. But there is more. This outpouring of agape love, by its very nature, has to keep flowing. It is not to be bottled up and capped for us to gaze at. We are the vessels through which it must flow. Jesus’ agape love was a love of action, He loved through welcoming the marginalized, healing the sick, and ultimately giving up His very life. If agape love does not lead us to action, have we truly understood it? As 1 John 1:11 implores: “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.“

As imitators of Christ, we are called to love like Him. That means showing this agape love to all people, even those who are the most difficult to love, even our enemies.  In fact, it is loving those whom we struggle to love, that makes us different from the rest of the world. Knowing this distinction, we should expect it to be hard. It is a high calling. Yet God, foreseeing our need, equipped His followers, through the gift of the Holy Spirit: the indwelling presence of God. In Galatians 5:22-23, love is listed first in the fruit that come from the Holy Spirit working in our lives. Let this be a comfort. We may not be able to love others in this way, yet we are not called to do this in our own strength.

We are simply called to act. Relying on the Spirit, we put agape love into action, in whatever way God is calling us, to love others. When Peter was restored to Jesus, each time Peter confirmed his love for his savior, Jesus gave him a command to feed and tend to his sheep. It was where God’s love would flow from Peter. Going forward, Peter would play a key role in nurturing and leading believers in the church, welcoming outsiders, who were now part of God’s Kingdom.

Where is God directing the love that has been shown to you? Will you bottle it up or let it flow? Let’s ask God to show us tangible ways we can love others. Let’s be the vessel for them to taste the agape love of God. Let’s be known for this love.